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I want a puppy!


A happy carefree little doglet. You know, the kind with the velvety ears that are too big for it and keep getting in its eyes every time it turns its head too quickly?

Yeah! The kind of a puppy where the paws are waaaaay too large and it trips over them while walking across the room.

A puppy with a big long puppy tail that wags if you look at it sideways. Puppies don’t wag their tails like big dogs do, you realize. No, not at all. A big dog’s tail sweeps from side to side, one big furry tail unit, back and forth, pendulantic. A puppy, on the other hand, will frantically move the base of its tail, leaving it to the rest of it to catch up, following like a whip or a piece of spaghetti as you sluck it in.

And when they sleep? Little puppy snores. Warm puppy toes, which I hear smell like corn. Curious puppy eyes watching where you put the cookies. Can it reach that high? Let’s find out…

Yeah. Puppy. Puppies are cool. I need one.