The diet that shouldn't be

I almost didn’t post this. It’s just asking for a certain retired Navy Commander to put on a shit-eating grin, turn to his poor beleaguered wife and say, “I told you so!”

Unfortunately, these things hold such a place of distinction in the life of the family that I really had no choice. The little pack of gum. The spoon. The adorable little bottle of Tabasco sauce. The book of industrial-strength matches. These are icons around our house, so the story below is one which has to be shared.

The United States Combat Feeding Directorate^* is once again revamping the justifiably maligned MRE. Not because the things taste, at best, like dog food. No, they need to rearchitect the “meals” because the soldiers are losing a disturbing amount of weight from eating them{.broken_link}.

That’s right. It’s the MRE Diet. Of course, part of the diet plan is spending months in the desert avoiding snipers and roadside bombs, so you ought to consult your physician before undertaking this or any weight loss program.

• Is that a great name, or what? Sounds like it’s straight out of Brazil.