Archived in 2022

Originally posted on 19 Apr 2007

On my drive home today I passed a van for a company called Candid Carpet Care{.broken_link}. Judging from the link it’s a well-respected company, of which I’m sure there’s no doubt. Regardless, I have to wonder why they selected that name.

Why would someone need a carpet cleaner which is so proud of being candid? You’d think that it would be more desirable to have a discreet carpet cleaner rather than one which has no compunction about talking to you about the state of your floor coverings.

“Hi, Discreet Carpet Care? Yeah, um… I kinda need someone to get here as quickly as possible. There was this argument, you see? And, well, I didn’t mean for it to happen. It’s not like I came here with a plan or anything. But, well, one thing led to another and now… Excuse me? Yes, yes I’ve blotted as much as I can but there’s rather a lot of it, so you might need the big van. I ran out of rags while cleaning, really. Do you do rags? Because I might need those done, too. You do? Great. I’ll put those in a dark plastic bag for you. So can you get here quickly? And, well… I hesitate to bring it up, ya know? But, well, I can count on your discretion in this matter, can’t I? Because if this ever got out… Of course, of course. That’s good to hear. I knew I could count on you. So you’ll be here soon? That fast? Hold on, I think I hear your van pulling up now. Wow, you guys are good. OK. Yes. Um…Visa? Good. OK, thanks. *click*”