To the Unknown Driver

Dear Mister Driver of the Biodiesel VW in Front of Me on the Freeway Onramp on My Way Home from the Movie:

Wow, biodiesel, eh? That’s pretty darn progressive of you. All aware and neat stuff like that. Reducing our reliance on petroleum—foreign or otherwise—is a good thing on many different fronts, I think we all agree.

But here’s the thing… By driving the car you do, emblazoned as it is with stickers propagandizing for your worthy cause, you have become an advertisement for these beliefs. A spokesman, if you will. It is now your job to actively represent your views in a manner which might lead others to want to consider following them themselves.

Creeping up the onramp of a busy metropolitan freeway in such a way that your car and all the cars stuck behind you end up dangerously attempting to enter traffic at forty-five miles an hour is NOT the way to make a good impression or to win the hearts and minds of others. No, instead this behavior leads us all to believe that the biodiesel engine in your very aware and politically-correct vehicle has about as much power as a collection of rubber bands wound by anemic pygmy hamsters trapped in corroding exercise wheels.

Know your audience. You’re not going to impress the average American in a car like that. Want to change minds? Make sure you have the technology to back your play. Until then please at least try to pick up the pace on the on-ramps, OK?