Originally posted on 18 Apr 2023

1 minute read

A recent acquisition got me wondering, “Of all the books that I own, which one is the heaviest?”

I trained as a Classical Hellenist. I have some pretty large books and as Callimachus says, “μέγα βιβλίον, μέγα κακόν”. Ain’t it the truth.

In my search for my weightiest tome I started in the obvious place: The LSJ, more formally known as A Greek-English Lexicon, compiled by H. G. Liddell and R. Scott, revised by Sir Henry Stuart Jones, and nearly 2500 pages of the best, stuffiest, and most patriarchial Ancient Greek scholarship to be found in 19th Century Oxford. It’s easily the largest single book in my library, but is it the heaviest?

A very large Ancient Greek lexicon on a kitchen scale. The scale reads 3.499kg.

Nearly 3.5kg. Not shabby at all.

How about its much more modern spiritual successor, The Cambridge Greek Lexicon? It’s two volumes, which rather feels like cheating, but considered as a single work I think it still counts.

Two large volumes of an Ancient Greek lexicon, contained in a slipcase. It rests on a kitchen scale that reads 3.321kg.

3.3kg. Ah, well. I didn’t really expect it to outweigh its predecessor. It doesn’t carry the same amount of baggage, after all.

But wait…another contender has entered the ring! Yes, this new arrival is a worthy competitor. Let’s see what we get…

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Omnibus resting on a kitchen scale. The scale reads 4.150kg.

There we have it, folks. It seems that this Squirrel Girl is, truly, Unbeatable. Her Omnibus tips the scales at well more than 4kg. If you ever find yourself in a brawl in a comic book shop, this is the weapon you want at your side. Beware, though: at that weight, it requires two hands to wield it.