Cheese makes me happy.

Cheese is one of those miracles of nature.

One eats cheese and must think, “There is a god, and it looks a lot like milk. And bacteria. And a bit of mold.”

Cheese is a lot like sex. If real, then even a bad cheese is better than no cheese at all.

Cheese is better than sex because you can legally buy it and no one judges you if you pick up a variety in a single night.

Cheese for President, 2008.

“My god, it’s full of cheese.”